Dealing with rotten apples

"One rotten apple can spoil the whole basket". Rotten apples are like the negative people in our lives. They are the ones who leave us feeling low because they complain, whine and criticize. They can be toxic to us and are our "Energy vampires". 

Unfortunately, they are people who are close to us and our important to us, because they can be in form of our parent, sibling, partner, in-law, child, friend or a colleague.

The difference between positive and negative person is that while a positive person will see the glass half full, a negative person will only see the empty portion of the glass. It is struggle to stay positive around negative people - the feeling of mental fatigue in their presence. The conflict between the impulse to avoid them and guilt that you are not helping them is emotionally draining.

Here are three tips to help in dealing with negative people:

1) Drop your judgements: A positive person operates from a place of hope, appreciation and awareness of the present. There is an innate tendency to be judgmental about people different from us. Fact is people only know what they focus in their experience. Your judgement about a person as lazy, loser, stubborn, whiner etc. will only affect you. We need to understand that a negative person comes from a place of "lack". Lack of experience, gratitude and possibilities The bottom line is, the person is thinking differently from you. Why judge?

2) Listen without reacting: When you hear someone complaining or whining, if you have the energy to hear the person out, then do so. The person is only venting out the frustration & hopelessness experienced by him or her. You dont need to identify with their experience nor believe in their predictions of future mishaps. Identify the person's concerns which is seen as a global concern (as per the person). The problems people see arises from their limited experience. Just hear the words out.

3) Identify opportunities instead of obstacles: Now that you have managed to identify "his/her" problem, try to understand if the person wants a solution or is comfortable in sinking into his/her problem-finding mindset. 

While positive people are pro in seeing greener pastures in any situation because of their ability to feel grateful for what they have rather than not have. In contrast, negative people are just the opposite. Help the person who only sees problems, recognize what is in it for him/her in every situation and help the person to identify the strengths in the present moment. There will always be one. If you are blessed with a life, then YOU are all that is needed to do something about it. A mind shift from "I can't" to "I can" is all that is required.

"One individual who lives and vibrates to the energy of optimism and willingness to be non-judgemental of others will counterbalance the negativity of 90,000 individuals who calibrate at the lower weakening level." (Dr Wayne Dyer, Power of intention 2010) . This was based on a research by Dr Hawking. We are after all not apples but human beings. Just as one person's negativity is capable of pulling down others energy, so is true that one positive person has more influence on people around him.

The final point to remember in dealing with people who are negative, is to remember that our responsibility is to vibrate at high energy by living with optimism and attitude of gratitude. Don't be quick to guide unless they seek it. Otherwise, you will end up being misguided. You are the float who can help others by staying positive. Infect people with your positivity & let your positive energy be contagious.